I started reading The Untethered Soul, a book Caeleb Dressel recommended in his book club list. The first chapter, Awakening Consciousness: The Voice Inside Your Head, immediately caught my attention.
In case you haven't noticed, there is a constant mental dialogue in our minds. It never stops. You can test it right now. It is always there. This inner voice says many things, sometimes positive, sometimes negative. But the important thing to understand is that this voice is not actually "us." It is simply a narrator trying to make sense of the world and give us a sense of comfort and control.
For example, you might think:
"Oh, I should call my friend… but it is already late. Should I call anyway? Well, I have not called until now, so maybe it is fine if I do not call right now."
This inner dialogue does not change anything in reality. It only tries to make us feel better. Judging things in our head gives us the illusion of control, even though that control is not real. With or without the voice, life still moves forward.
We have to understand, or at least I have to understand, that I am not the voice in my mind. I am the one who hears it.
You could even ask a serious question: if the voice is unnecessary or meaningless, why does it exist? As the chapter explains, it is there to narrate things so we feel more comfortable. It is like a defensive mechanism we assigned a job to:
"It is freezing outside."
"Well, I am almost home. Just hold on a few more minutes."
It creates the feeling that we are controlling the experience, but in reality we are not. I cannot change the weather. I can only influence how the experience affects me.
The world unfolds on its own, and it has very little to do with us or our thoughts.
I believe that if someone, and in my case if I, can truly understand that this voice is not me but simply the voice of the mind, and that I am the one who hears it, then I can have more control over my emotions and behavior. Our emotions influence how we act, so becoming aware of this inner voice can be a huge step toward personal awakening and growth.
From my own experience, I tend to be more pessimistic or stressed about things. The voice in my head leans negative. And when I believe that this voice is me, things get worse. But if I recognize that I am separate from the voice, and I listen to it from the outside in a more objective way, I can control how much it affects me.